Getting divorce is an emotional experience, and when you don’t want the divorce, it can be difficult to manage those emotions. If you have recently been served with divorce papers by your spouse and you would prefer to stay married, you may be asking yourself if there is any way to prevent the divorce.
Indiana has a “no fault” divorce law, which means that a person seeking a divorce in Indiana does not need to prove the reason why the marriage is ending or ask the court to find one party at fault. Instead, the person seeking a divorce must only tell the court under oath that the marriage is irretrievably broken and should be ended. Even when one spouse believes that the marriage could be saved, if the other spouse is willing to swear under oath that he or she considers the marriage unfixable, that is enough for an Indiana court to grant the divorce.
It might be tempting to refuse to participate in the divorce process as a way to slow it down or to communicate that you are not in favor of the divorce. Doing this comes with significant risk. First, the divorce process will go on without you even if you fail to show up for court hearings or sign documents. When that happens, the court only hears from one side when making important decisions about dividing property and debt and setting child related orders like custody and child support. You will likely end up with an order you don’t like, or which is in fact unfair because the court did not hear from you. Second, you could end up being sanctioned by the court for ignoring deadlines to share information. When the spouse seeking a divorce sends official requests for information to the other spouse, the spouse sending the requests can seek a court order requiring an answer. Failure to answer often results in an order requiring the non-answering spouse to pay attorney fees, which can be expensive.
Finally, if your goal is to reconcile the marriage, refusing to cooperate rarely accomplishes the goal as it makes things harder and more expensive for the spouse seeking the divorce.
Even if you don’t want the divorce, your best bet is to talk with an attorney about what your rights and responsibilities are during the divorce process. You may have to go through the process against your will and better judgment, but you don’t have to do it alone. Choose an attorney you trust and also talk with a mental health provider to help you manage the hurt and disappointment you are feeling.
